Schindler’s List

Schindler's List
The look of innocent fear. And yes, that’s a pool of shit.

I’ve been catching up on movies that I haven’t had time to watch in the past, be it due to school or National Service. Like one of those things you say you have to do but put it off eventually because of some excuse.

So one of those movies was Schindler’s List and now I’m really angry with myself for not watching it years ago when I could have. I’ve read and watched lots of stories focusing on the World War and the Holocaust, and although the movie is firstly about the survival of the Jews, it’s also the story of the personal rebirth of the man who saved them – Oskar Schindler.

Looking at Schindler in the movie is like staring straight into the mirror. The flesh is an illusion; it’s the soul, or lack thereof, of this cold-blooded bon vivant that causes such a chill in my heart.

He went from a charming megalomaniac to a life-saving humanitarian and it’s the former which resembles a lot of who I was. Whether I turn into the latter is the question. . . I’m going through so many personal changes that I don’t have an inkling whatsoever of what I’m growing into.

But I do know what I was: someone who dwelled in material possessions and galvanised into action only when it benefitted the self. So much money have I wasted on things I don’t need, on things that give a sensation of quasi love simply because it provides the fulfillment of having something.

Yet true love should be about giving it unconditionally and not about taking or having it.

Saying all that doesn’t rubber-stamp a “Samaritan” on my chest. It’s a critical juncture in my life because it challenges by entire belief system, and all because I met someone in such a crazy off-shoot chance that I still can’t believe how coincidental it was.

I’m so apprehensive of where this journey leading to. I fear that I will become more lost than ever before. Time will tell soon.



Filed under Emo, Television/Movies

4 responses to “Schindler’s List

  1. someone

    nothing ever happens by coincidence…it just depends on whether u have the faith to believe it’s part of God’s amazing plan for your life. don’t be afraid of the future – just focus on your Saviour and trust that He would never dump His own creation (i.e. you) into a pool of shit that you wouldn’t have the strength to get out of. 1 John 4:18. catch a glimpse of His unconditional love for you that our finite minds could never hope to fathom, and you would come to understand how it is that us, as Christians, can find the hope to cling onto to live for Him. strive on, brother.

  2. I wish I had your courage, and your faith. I feel like I’m really losing it. . . but thanks for the support. Really appreciate it. It’s wonderful how much belief you have in someone whom you’ve never even met.

  3. someone

    šŸ™‚ don’t just wish you had the courage and faith. have it. i just know my God won’t prove you wrong, because He’s your God too.

  4. Believe me, these days I’ve been praying harder than ever. Not that I’ve been a Christian for a long time… I just hope what you say will come true.

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