Book Of Revelations

Happy Couple

The concoctive scent of Estee Lauder, Calvin Klein, 70’s hair gel and armpit odour in an air-conditioned double-deck bus – that’s the premise for the dating scene today. Be prepared for some nasty sensations up your nasal tract.

These days, everything must be done in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. 5-second timers for red-light cameras. People now count in seconds, not minutes; hours became obsolete in the last century.

If we’re rushing to the end, how do we make time for ourselves? Correction: ourselves and significant others?

Throw away that tea colored manual for hitching kampong virgins. They don’t work anymore. It’s up to me, the high school dropout for relationships, to write the book of revelations. . .

1. Respect

If both parties don’t look up to each other in the things he or she does, then there will come a time when the glucose stops being starchy and the bread goes moldy. The “It’s what we do that defines us” quote sums it up – If you don’t support what the person does for a living, then don’t share a life.

2. Trust

Let’s face it, temptation is as prevalent as the air around us. To avoid sinning, bear in mind that no matter how much she may look like Aphrodite (or him as Apollo), once you get to know that someone, it’s improbable that you’ll be impressed by that person’s character. And then you’d be embarrassed that you actually considered the possibility.

3. Space

No more rules etched in stone. Why bother setting a curfew when you know it’s going to be broken? In Singapore now, “Asian” values are increasingly being overruled, so all those prohibitions and canes aren’t going to work anymore. That’s not to say you should allow a free-flowing deluge of insubordination. Be reasonable, so reason it out.

4. Time

People don’t learn that building a relationship is the one only thing (if not among many things) that cannot be rushed. If you’re going through a bad patch, ride out the storm, have faith that things will work out right. The course of true love never ran smooth; that’s the truth.

5. Communication/Chemistry

Even if you followed the above code strictly, down to every word as though it were the bible, you’d still get nowhere without this. This is one thing you can’t fix. You can’t just buy the spares and screw it in, it’s just going to be a faux pas relationship if you do that. It will be God’s gift to you and that’s the beauty of it: Just by talking with a person will you know if he/she has the potential to live a life with you.

Now all we need is a living example of a happy couple. Wait for me okay? I’ll get there. I hope. I pray.

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